I was just wondering whether or not it is true that we can simply “switch off” a feeling for somebody that easily. Someone came up with the word “fling” for a reason. But I’m quite sure that it’s more than that. I like him, pretty much. Somehow, I know and he knows that we’re not cut out to be couple. We’re both commitment phobic, I guess it’s scary when I see there is so much similarity with the both of us. Maybe we just like each other’s company that much that it sometimes confuses our feeling. Perhaps I’m thinking way too much. I cared a lot for his feelings, or maybe that is just an excuse I gave myself for pulling away to protect myself from getting hurt. I don’t know anymore. So I chose to push those thoughts and perhaps, those feelings to the back of my mind. I don’t miss him that much anymore when I don’t see him, I even have self-control of not seeing him too much. Then he has to come and tell me that he really wants to spend more time with me and there goes all my effort, out the window. Talking to him more had definitely got him open up himself more to me now. He tells me things that mean so much to him, although some I really do not wish to know. Like how he still likes this girl etc… I have to admit that I did my selective listening when it comes to topics like that. I hate it when it hurts me that much to listen to him. On the other hand, I’m glad he did. So I really don’t know what I want from him, what I want from myself, and what do I really want from us.
by the way, I've just came back from Penang. Shall upload the pictures in the next post.
