Maybank workers going on a strike for not getting bonus or something just opposite my college. it's just a random picture that i'm posting.

i am that bored to be blogging twice in few hours time. you tube has definitely grab hold of the boyfriend attention lately. every night - non failing- i would be hearing some foreign language song (not supposed to be foreign to me since it's hokkien and if you didnt know, i'm a hokkien. failness, as diane would say). anyways, here's a story of heartbreak:

me: if you can, take leave on the 31st oct.
the dumb bf: why?
me: *paused*
the dumb bf: why?
me: cause it's a special day.
the dumb bf: *as if not dumb enough* what day?
me: our anniversary *disappointed*
the dumb bf: *thinking* yea... if you havent brought it up, i've totally forgot about it.
me: *silence*

the rest of the story goes by the dumb bf feeling amazed how time flies and it's been a year already. how is this possible? what gives him the right to forget about such important date and act as if it is not a big issue that he had FORGOTTEN about it. karma, now i believe in it. somehow, i would like to believe that maybe if i havent mentioned about it, he would have eventually remember it, at least on that day itself. surprise me and then i would note down the day as one of my happiest day in my life. as long as i've known him, the day wouldnt be anywhere close to what i've expected.

so i tried to make me feel better by thinking that maybe he's too busy with his work and all that he hasnt got much time left to care about all these small little details of our relationship. but it's not small, is it? in the end, no matter how many lame excuses i've tried to think behalf of him, it still bothers me. so i told myself, why think about it then? pretty amazing aint it, us human? we knew it would hurt us, and yet, we wont stop ourselves from doing it.

------------earlier just now--------------
him: i might want to go clubing with my friends later.
me: okay, go ahead. then i might go somewhere myself too. (not wanting to feel lonely in the house)
him: where you want to go and who you're going out with?
me: not sure yet, some friends maybe.
*phone call*
him: i'm not going out anymore.
me: why?
him: cause if i go, you're going out with guys.
me: they're just friends.
him: no.

i really gave up. i have to practically force him to go out with his friends and in exchange, i told him that i'll stay home so he can stop worrying about me. he insisted on staying home with me in the end. even simple things like this has it's way of proving things, proving that our relationship is really not stable. that he doesnt trust me, that maybe i wasnt "trustable";

him: every friday when you go clubing with your friends, i didnt say anything, did i?
me: no, what are you trying to say? i'm stoping you from going out but you didnt?
him: yes. that's how i see things are right now.
me: i didnt stop you, i've even begged you to go out, what do you want me to do?
him: now i really dont feel like going out. just now i knew if i've went out, you wouldnt have liked it.
me: i swear i would not.
him: i know you too well.

excuse you. if i havent stop talking after that, we would have gotten into another fight. i've known it all too well now, it's either i really fight for what i think is right, and get us start arguing; or me giving in, and everything will be fine. so either ways, it would seemed like i'm the fire starter, i am ALWAYS the one starting the whole argument. definitely nothing is wrong with arguing sometimes, i mean it's normal that we have different opinion about something. but i hate it every single time in the end of the argument, i have to get away from him and he would apologize for what ever the reason is.

i've realised that throughout out relationship, i've complained more than i've enjoyed it. i mean it's kinda obvious when i've complained most of the time than blogging about the happy times i had with him. arash asked me a lot of times before this, if i was THAT unhappy being with him, why am i still with him? i never did able to answer him. it is then followed by the many maybe-s. the truth is, i will never know for sure who's right and who's wrong so i wouldnt want to make any blind decisions that i will regret later on. i'm a coward.

and the coward wants to sleep now. stout makes me sleepy.

revenge is FUN! someone sprayed water into my sister's toilet cubicle in OU earlier today. so before we left the toilet, we threw some water back. the amazing thing is she doesnt react to it, not even a sound. it was childish when i came to think of it later on, yet, it's fun. lol.

so today we went to watch resident evil:extinction. milla jovovich is hot, the movie is not. but i gotta admit that i did experienced some sudden "shock" throughout the whole movie, i think the one sitting next to me could feel the vibration of the seat. lol. i love how the movie had bloody scenes though. apart from that, zombie's cool too. oh yea, i hate crows. crows are bad birdies.

and then, that was it. my saturday is THAT uneventful. but i'm really not in the mood to go anywhere else though, felt like staying at home and doing nothing. here i am, doing exactly nothing. how productive of me! wm asked me whether am i interested in working with junk mag, why not? i think. i'm not good in writing though, wonder what would they hire me for? hmm. all these thoughts when i havent even applied for the job yet.

talking about jobs, it's time for me to send in my applications for jobs now. seeing that i'm finishing my studies by this november. aiks. but i'm really lazy to work~ the hardest part is still the waking up freaking early in the morning part, i wonder if i could ever get pass that. now i'm really hoping that i could study longer. dang.

maybe it's time for a change, working i mean. i've never tried working full-time, maybe it wasnt that bad. let's just hope. recharge rave is closing in on us! wooHoo! i'm going either with or without the boyfriend. he had his annual dinner thingy on the same day as well, seems like he has got a pretty tough choice to make there. anyways, i really cant wait. cant wait. i had better enjoy such raves more now that i'm getting older, before i realise that i've lost all interest in it.

oh well, i guess that sums up everything now.

it's been such a long long time since i've last made my appearance in zouk loft (talking like i'm some kind of a superstar or something *geli-nyer*) anyways, diane sort of persuaded me in the end to go which i'm glad =) met some new friends through diane a.k.a the social queenbee. then saw aryn and the pitiful looking pidos (practically only sat on the speaker looking miserable all night, puasa month = no alcohol.. kesian). we were dancing the night away. oh yea, almost left out the most amazing that happened on the way to loft. me and diane managed to fit in a single seat of the convertible chak was driving. luckily there was no police blocks or what-so-ever or we'll definitely, and i mean DEFINITELY be in trouble. catching so much attention along the way while me and diane exchanges seats between the car door and the actual seat itself. woohoo! the wind kinda messed up my hair though, not like i'm giving 2 shits about my hair that day. hehe.

anyways, went home and yes, i slept. the next day, went out with my sis, supposingly meeting up diane for some ranting and gossiping, remember diane?! anyhow, she was busy so me and wm met up with scott for some part girly conversation instead. it's been a while since i've last saw him, so am glad in all. we went to grab some wine in the apartment while waiting for diane still. hmm. so yea, in the end, she came and had dinner and we left curve. diane has to train for her D.O.A tournament. wm has decided to go see dwen since it was their anniversary. scott was planning to go sleep but instead me and the boyfriend dropped him off in la queen. then i headed over to zouk, again. wanted to go into velvet but apparently it was full house and we were forced to wait in line to go in. obviously we were too lazy to wait so we went to the main room instead. the rest of the night was okay. if it wasnt for the alcohol, i dont think i'll be there as well (alcoholic sial..)

so here i am, feeling extremely hungry at 3am while typing this. some justification is needed here, i was out drinking beer with the boyfriend and some friends just now. and alcohol makes people hungry, yes?? hehe.. i need to go sleep to get rid of the hunger. ciao!